1
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:16,026
Come on, here we go, baby.
Work with me.

2
00:00:16,985 --> 00:00:19,988
Okay, okay.

3
00:00:21,907 --> 00:00:23,283
- Come on.
- Hey.

4
00:00:23,450 --> 00:00:26,870
- Did you lock your keys in your car?
- No, I have a shirt in the back

5
00:00:27,037 --> 00:00:30,373
I'm trying to get on the hanger
without opening the door.

6
00:00:30,582 --> 00:00:33,084
Sorry, trying to help out.

7
00:00:34,461 --> 00:00:36,546
Moron.

8
00:01:01,577 --> 00:01:07,577
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com

9
00:01:22,903 --> 00:01:25,239
You like your Liberace,
don't you, Dad?

10
00:01:25,406 --> 00:01:28,367
Oh, yes,
Lee was quite the showman.

11
00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:31,245
Darling, did you know
he was a little?

12
00:01:32,705 --> 00:01:34,206
That's not to repeat.

13
00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,128
<i>If you're enjoying
the sounds of Liberace</i>

14
00:01:39,295 --> 00:01:41,672
<i>and want to see more
quality programming such as this,</i>

15
00:01:41,839 --> 00:01:44,216
<i>we need the support
of generous viewers like you.</i>

16
00:01:45,384 --> 00:01:47,845
Here they go,
begging for money again.

17
00:01:48,012 --> 00:01:49,972
Pathetic.

18
00:01:51,474 --> 00:01:54,435
Good morning. What is that?

19
00:01:55,060 --> 00:01:58,439
What? The Three Tenors tote bag?

20
00:01:58,647 --> 00:02:01,776
I've been in the market
for a tote bag for years.

21
00:02:01,942 --> 00:02:04,779
I just didn't have the guts
to pull the trigger.

22
00:02:06,614 --> 00:02:09,742
Look, honey.
It's perfect for me, don't you think?

23
00:02:09,909 --> 00:02:13,954
Yeah, it'll be a nice step up
from the fishing net you use.

24
00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:20,252
Yes, hello. What is the minimum
donation to get that tote bag?

25
00:02:22,755 --> 00:02:25,716
Is there any wriggle room on that?

26
00:02:26,675 --> 00:02:27,843
- Hello.
- Hey, babe.

27
00:02:29,095 --> 00:02:31,055
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
no frozen food for you.

28
00:02:31,222 --> 00:02:33,766
Now go upstairs, put on some rouge
and squeeze into a girdle,

29
00:02:33,933 --> 00:02:36,310
because
we are stepping out tonight.

30
00:02:36,811 --> 00:02:39,313
Where are we stepping?
Back in time?

31
00:02:39,522 --> 00:02:41,774
Better. We're going to Fiorino's.
This new Italian joint

32
00:02:41,941 --> 00:02:43,943
Deac and I had lunch at today,
it's unbelievable.

33
00:02:44,151 --> 00:02:47,154
- I'm tired. Let's go another night.
- No, no, no, you don't understand.

34
00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:48,489
This restaurant is special.

35
00:02:48,656 --> 00:02:51,409
I really think this could be our
place. How great would that be?

36
00:02:51,575 --> 00:02:53,077
I could call you up from work
and say:

37
00:02:53,244 --> 00:02:56,122
"Hey, meet me at the place."

38
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:59,250
I wouldn't even have to
say the name.

39
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:01,085
You'd know.

40
00:03:01,836 --> 00:03:04,755
- And how much time would that save?
- Come on, let's go. Let's go.

41
00:03:04,922 --> 00:03:06,465
Doug, come on,
I'm already comfortable.

42
00:03:06,632 --> 00:03:08,509
I'd have to put on a bra.
It's a whole ordeal.

43
00:03:08,676 --> 00:03:09,802
I'll help you.

44
00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:13,055
Please, Doug,
you can't even get my bra off.

45
00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:17,017
Yes, but this is for something I want.
Let's go.

46
00:03:23,649 --> 00:03:26,026
So you think I made the right choice,
ordering the special?

47
00:03:26,193 --> 00:03:28,028
- Well, it sounded good.
- You think?

48
00:03:28,237 --> 00:03:30,865
Because I kind of had my eye
on the rigatoni.

49
00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:34,702
I don't know.
Maybe I should have gotten that.

50
00:03:34,869 --> 00:03:37,955
On the other hand, you gotta jump on a
good special, because that goes away.

51
00:03:38,164 --> 00:03:39,999
Well, the important thing is,
you've given it

52
00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:44,003
- a tremendous amount of thought.
- Hey, look who's back.

53
00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:45,463
Mr. Green Shorts.

54
00:03:45,629 --> 00:03:48,340
- Whoa, long pants now, huh?
- Yeah, I got the long pants on.

55
00:03:48,507 --> 00:03:50,050
And who is this beauty?

56
00:03:50,259 --> 00:03:53,095
- This is my wife, Carrie.
- So nice to see you.

57
00:03:53,262 --> 00:03:55,931
You're a lucky, lucky man.
So you like my bruschetta?

58
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,975
- It was great, thanks.
- It's on the house,

59
00:03:58,142 --> 00:04:01,145
because you such a good customer,
and because she's so beautiful.

60
00:04:01,687 --> 00:04:03,522
Hey, you call me
when you leave this guy, huh?

61
00:04:03,689 --> 00:04:04,815
Okay.

62
00:04:04,982 --> 00:04:07,359
- Enjoy, enjoy.
- Thank you, thank you.

63
00:04:07,526 --> 00:04:09,487
He wants you to call him
when you leave me.

64
00:04:09,653 --> 00:04:11,697
How great is this place?

65
00:04:13,407 --> 00:04:15,409
- It's very nice.
- Very nice? Are you kidding me?

66
00:04:15,576 --> 00:04:17,953
This is the best place ever.
They even gave me a nickname.

67
00:04:18,162 --> 00:04:19,830
I know, Mr. Green Jeans.

68
00:04:20,706 --> 00:04:22,041
Green Shorts.

69
00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:24,627
And, hey, look at this,
free bruschetta.

70
00:04:24,794 --> 00:04:28,297
You gotta check out the bathroom too.
It's like peeing in old Italy.

71
00:04:29,673 --> 00:04:31,300
I look forward to it.

72
00:04:31,509 --> 00:04:32,885
All right.

73
00:04:33,052 --> 00:04:35,054
- Penne al'arrabiata for the signora.
- Thank you.

74
00:04:35,221 --> 00:04:38,265
- And gnocchi for the signore.
- Oh, smells great, thanks.

75
00:04:38,432 --> 00:04:39,517
Some fresh parmigiana?

76
00:04:39,683 --> 00:04:41,102
- None for me, thank you.
- Signore?

77
00:04:41,268 --> 00:04:43,562
Oh, yeah.

78
00:04:43,729 --> 00:04:45,898
Keep grating until you hit bone.

79
00:04:48,818 --> 00:04:50,111
- Excuse me?
- Yes?

80
00:04:50,277 --> 00:04:51,779
This has capers in it.

81
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,031
Yes, yes. They give it a nice flavour.

82
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,409
Yes, but I ordered
it without capers.

83
00:04:56,435 --> 00:04:58,602
They give it nice
flavour, honey.

84
00:04:59,737 --> 00:05:01,699
I don't have anything
about no capers.

85
00:05:01,725 --> 00:05:02,932
Well, I did say it.

86
00:05:03,374 --> 00:05:05,126
All right.
I change your order if you want.

87
00:05:05,292 --> 00:05:06,877
No, no,
I don't wanna change my order,

88
00:05:07,044 --> 00:05:09,463
I just want my food the way
I ordered it in the first place.

89
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,966
I like extra capers,
so this works out great.

90
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:14,552
I'll take a few. They come right out.
Look, I got a big one.

91
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,181
Doug, could you get your fingers
out of my food?

92
00:05:17,207 --> 00:05:18,847
I don't think we
need to send it back.

93
00:05:18,889 --> 00:05:20,558
- Look, got another one.
- Doug, stop it.

94
00:05:20,724 --> 00:05:23,436
Come on... Could I just have my food
the way I ordered it, please?

95
00:05:23,644 --> 00:05:25,771
- Very good.
- Thank you.

96
00:05:25,938 --> 00:05:27,314
Excuse me.

97
00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:30,985
- Was that a sigh?
- Oh, God.

98
00:05:31,193 --> 00:05:33,988
- No, signora.
- Well, it sounded like a sigh.

99
00:05:34,155 --> 00:05:36,240
Am I annoying you
in some way, hon?

100
00:05:36,449 --> 00:05:38,451
You ask to change your order,
I change your order.

101
00:05:38,617 --> 00:05:40,786
Again with the change.
You know what? Let me have it.

102
00:05:40,953 --> 00:05:43,247
- Let me see the manager. Thank you.
- Yes, signora.

103
00:05:44,832 --> 00:05:47,042
- What are you doing?
- You didn't see the attitude

104
00:05:47,209 --> 00:05:49,378
on that guy? Come on,
I'm not gonna put up with that.

105
00:05:49,587 --> 00:05:52,715
Carrie, it is very stressful
being in the service industry, okay?

106
00:05:52,882 --> 00:05:57,303
I never told you this, but some days
I just sit in my truck and cry.

107
00:05:58,387 --> 00:06:01,807
Doug, would you give me a break?
The guy was out-and-out rude.

108
00:06:02,016 --> 00:06:04,351
Not rude, fiery.
He's Italian, it's their way.

109
00:06:04,518 --> 00:06:07,271
So a little problem, what?

110
00:06:07,438 --> 00:06:09,648
- Yes, I ordered...
- Nothing major, everything's great.

111
00:06:09,815 --> 00:06:12,568
My wife got her food and she thought
she ordered it without capers...

112
00:06:12,735 --> 00:06:15,321
- I did order it without capers.
- Okay, she may have.

113
00:06:15,488 --> 00:06:18,866
The main thing is, other than the
capers, everything else, fantastico.

114
00:06:19,658 --> 00:06:22,286
Okay, so here's what's
not fantastico, okay,

115
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:26,749
is when a waiter
pretty much calls a customer a liar.

116
00:06:26,957 --> 00:06:29,210
I didn't get that.

117
00:06:31,754 --> 00:06:35,674
I'm so sorry.
We take care of it right away.

118
00:06:41,597 --> 00:06:45,184
I'm so very sorry.
We take care of everything.

119
00:06:48,229 --> 00:06:50,606
- Did you see that?
- See what?

120
00:06:50,815 --> 00:06:54,276
They were talking about me,
right in front of me in Italian,

121
00:06:54,443 --> 00:06:56,181
and then that guy,
he rolled his eyes.

122
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,721
Can we just eat dinner, okay?

123
00:06:57,863 --> 00:07:00,116
You're gonna get your dish back
with no capers.

124
00:07:00,282 --> 00:07:02,910
Maybe a little spit,
but no capers.

125
00:07:05,204 --> 00:07:08,082
Here, just have some of mine
in the meantime.

126
00:07:08,249 --> 00:07:11,127
No. No, forget it.
I'm not even hungry now.

127
00:07:30,312 --> 00:07:32,773
Make sure it doesn't
have capers.

128
00:07:33,816 --> 00:07:35,359
Okay, here we go.

129
00:07:35,526 --> 00:07:37,027
You wanna get into this now?

130
00:07:37,194 --> 00:07:37,789
Bring it on.

131
00:07:37,815 --> 00:07:39,598
No, no, no, I don't
wanna get into it.

132
00:07:39,739 --> 00:07:41,991
I want you to be happy.
I don't want you to have to call

133
00:07:42,158 --> 00:07:45,327
the Lean Cuisine people
and ask for the manager.

134
00:07:45,745 --> 00:07:47,121
Well, if I did have to,

135
00:07:47,288 --> 00:07:50,082
I guess we'd know
whose side you'd be on, don't we?

136
00:07:50,249 --> 00:07:53,252
Hey, I just wanted a nice evening out.
You're the one who went insane.

137
00:07:53,419 --> 00:07:54,462
Oh, yeah, I'm insane.

138
00:07:54,628 --> 00:07:57,757
I ordered my food without capers,
and then wanted it with no capers.

139
00:07:57,923 --> 00:07:59,925
Yes, fit me for a straitjacket,
I'm a loon.

140
00:08:00,134 --> 00:08:03,429
You know what I mean. You're always on
the lookout for who's out to get you.

141
00:08:03,596 --> 00:08:06,557
You can never just let something go.
No, that would result

142
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:10,019
in a delightful evening,
and we can't have that, can we? No.

143
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:15,983
And by the way,
you didn't say no capers.

144
00:08:16,192 --> 00:08:17,276
How would you know?

145
00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:18,819
You were too busy figuring out

146
00:08:18,986 --> 00:08:23,407
what you were gonna have
for lunch a week from Thursday.

147
00:08:25,951 --> 00:08:28,079
- I just don't get you, Carrie.
- Oh, don't you?

148
00:08:28,245 --> 00:08:30,790
No, you knew
how much I loved that place,

149
00:08:30,956 --> 00:08:32,792
and you just had to go and ruin it.

150
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,169
First of all, I am not the one
who dragged me there,

151
00:08:35,336 --> 00:08:38,339
and second of all, that place?
Not so great.

152
00:08:38,547 --> 00:08:41,383
- Oh, don't. Don't.
- No, it's true, it's true.

153
00:08:41,592 --> 00:08:43,928
I didn't wanna say it then,
but the bruschetta?

154
00:08:44,095 --> 00:08:45,805
A little soggy.
That's right, that's right.

155
00:08:45,971 --> 00:08:49,183
- And the music? Way too loud.
- Okay, now you're just flailing,

156
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:53,062
because that music could not
have been at a more perfect level.

157
00:08:54,814 --> 00:08:56,482
Crap.

158
00:08:59,985 --> 00:09:04,740
And by the way, a normal person
enjoys a nice caper now and again.

159
00:09:04,907 --> 00:09:07,493
Okay, well,
here's a "by the way" for you.

160
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:10,746
Normal people put their soda cans
in the recycling bin,

161
00:09:10,913 --> 00:09:12,248
not on the clock radio.

162
00:09:12,415 --> 00:09:14,151
I swear, you do that
just to annoy me.

163
00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:15,067
Of course I do.

164
00:09:15,209 --> 00:09:18,671
Obviously, everyone on this Earth
has one goal: to annoy you.

165
00:09:19,755 --> 00:09:21,632
It's true.
Actually, you know, we have a club.

166
00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:24,718
We meet once a week
and we try to come up with new ways.

167
00:09:25,594 --> 00:09:28,139
You wanna see our secret eye roll?

168
00:09:30,933 --> 00:09:33,644
Okay, okay,
now you're just being a jerk.

169
00:09:33,853 --> 00:09:36,105
No, it's true, you're paranoid.
You're like your father.

170
00:09:36,313 --> 00:09:38,315
- What?
- That's right. You're two of a kind.

171
00:09:38,482 --> 00:09:40,526
You know, I swear,
I think the Spooner family crest

172
00:09:40,693 --> 00:09:44,780
is a shaking fist with the words,
"I wanna see the manager!"

173
00:09:46,949 --> 00:09:48,784
You know what,
I am not in the mood for this.

174
00:09:48,993 --> 00:09:51,746
It's over, we're never going back
there anyway, so case closed.

175
00:09:51,912 --> 00:09:55,249
Oh, here we go. We're taking a stand.
We're banning the restaurant now.

176
00:09:55,416 --> 00:09:58,461
- Yes, we are.
- Okay, fine, I'll add it to the list.

177
00:09:58,627 --> 00:10:01,881
The dry cleaners, Kinko's,
Madison Square Garden,

178
00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:07,303
St. Christopher's Church,
and now Fiorino's.

179
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,346
No, you're not like Arthur.
Not too much.

180
00:10:09,555 --> 00:10:12,808
- Moron.
- Arthurina.

181
00:10:12,975 --> 00:10:15,561
Stop shutting lights!

182
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:19,356
Oh, and just one more thing,
I'm still gonna eat there when I want.

183
00:10:19,523 --> 00:10:21,192
- No, you're not.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I am.

184
00:10:21,358 --> 00:10:22,401
Tomorrow.

185
00:10:22,568 --> 00:10:26,655
And who knows, after that,
I may swing by the dry cleaners.

186
00:10:27,323 --> 00:10:30,701
- Where is it?
- That's very nice. You know what?

187
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:33,120
Go wherever you wanna go,
but let me tell you something,

188
00:10:33,287 --> 00:10:37,291
there has never been one time
that I didn't support you.

189
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,002
That's right. Remember at that party,
when you kept insisting

190
00:10:40,169 --> 00:10:42,421
that pitted cherries
means they have pits in them?

191
00:10:43,089 --> 00:10:45,424
You went on and on,
and I backed you up,

192
00:10:45,591 --> 00:10:48,427
because I didn't want you
to look like an idiot all by yourself.

193
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:52,848
Well, they should call them DE-pitted.
It's confusing.

194
00:10:54,809 --> 00:10:58,395
The point is,
is that we're married, okay?

195
00:10:58,562 --> 00:10:59,772
We're a couple. We're a team.

196
00:10:59,939 --> 00:11:02,024
We're supposed to support each other
no matter what.

197
00:11:02,817 --> 00:11:05,820
They... They hurt my feelings tonight,
Doug, you know.

198
00:11:05,986 --> 00:11:07,029
And if you go back there,

199
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:10,116
you're just basically saying
that my feelings don't count.

200
00:11:10,699 --> 00:11:12,493
Oh, forget it.

201
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:16,080
Don't do the "oh, forget it" thing.

202
00:11:16,247 --> 00:11:19,750
All right, look, I'm sorry, okay?

203
00:11:19,917 --> 00:11:21,460
I won't go back there.

204
00:11:22,503 --> 00:11:24,088
- Thank you.
- Okay.

205
00:11:32,138 --> 00:11:34,974
Goodbye, ravioli stuffed with meat.

206
00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:40,479
I hardly knew ye.

207
00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:05,576
Hey. How's it going?

208
00:12:05,743 --> 00:12:09,163
Hey, tell me something,
and be honest.

209
00:12:09,372 --> 00:12:12,708
- What?
- How do I look from behind?

210
00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:14,710
Awesome.

211
00:12:14,919 --> 00:12:17,880
I'm asking a serious question,
all right. How do I look?

212
00:12:18,089 --> 00:12:19,131
What am I supposed to say?

213
00:12:19,298 --> 00:12:21,676
I know I don't have a good butt
in the traditional sense.

214
00:12:21,843 --> 00:12:24,762
I'm just saying, if I could see myself
from behind full-on,

215
00:12:24,929 --> 00:12:27,265
would I be in for any surprises?

216
00:12:27,473 --> 00:12:30,476
No. I mean, it's pretty much what
you expect when you look at the front.

217
00:12:30,643 --> 00:12:32,728
Oh, good, all right.

218
00:12:32,937 --> 00:12:34,438
- Can we eat now?
- Let's do it.

219
00:12:34,605 --> 00:12:36,566
All right, Fiorino's.

220
00:12:38,276 --> 00:12:41,946
- No, I really don't wanna.
- What? What are you talking about?

221
00:12:42,113 --> 00:12:44,866
- You said it was gonna be our place.
- Yeah, it's just that...

222
00:12:47,577 --> 00:12:49,387
Carrie and I went there
and I gotta tell you,

223
00:12:49,413 --> 00:12:50,913
they were kind
of rude to her.

224
00:12:50,997 --> 00:12:53,374
Really? But they're so
friendly over there.

225
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:56,043
I mean, they call you
Mr. Green Shorts.

226
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:59,755
- They call me Mr. Green Shorts.
- Carrie thought they were rude.

227
00:12:59,922 --> 00:13:02,800
- Let's just pick another place.
- What did they do that was rude?

228
00:13:02,967 --> 00:13:06,095
Well, one guy sighed,

229
00:13:07,638 --> 00:13:11,142
and the other guy, he might have
rolled his eyes, I'm not sure.

230
00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:13,978
Anyway, it was some
very rough stuff.

231
00:13:14,479 --> 00:13:16,522
Was this anything like
when we went to the movies,

232
00:13:16,689 --> 00:13:19,150
and the popcorn girl "sassed" her?

233
00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:21,944
Very similar, yes.

234
00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:23,556
So now you can't
eat at Fiorino's?

235
00:13:23,582 --> 00:13:25,264
No, I choose not
to eat at Fiorino's.

236
00:13:25,406 --> 00:13:26,782
They hurt Carrie's feelings, okay?

237
00:13:26,949 --> 00:13:28,784
I mean, we're a team.
We stand by each other.

238
00:13:29,535 --> 00:13:31,163
That's right. And if
that means I gotta

239
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:32,897
wear a disguise to go
to the fruit stand,

240
00:13:33,039 --> 00:13:34,832
then that's the
price I gladly pay.

241
00:13:35,791 --> 00:13:38,961
Oh, she's a nutjob, isn't she?

242
00:13:39,128 --> 00:13:40,328
Well, I'm not a doctor, but...

243
00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:43,257
Oh, man, and she really
had me going too, you know.

244
00:13:43,424 --> 00:13:46,385
She threw out that whole speech
about how her feelings were hurt:

245
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:51,265
Oh, man, she really was working it.

246
00:13:51,432 --> 00:13:53,351
- She cry?
- No, no, no, it was worse, you know.

247
00:13:53,518 --> 00:13:55,520
She kind of had
that pre-cry mist going, you know.

248
00:13:55,686 --> 00:13:57,980
Yeah, the little quiver
on her bottom lip.

249
00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:01,234
Oh, man, she's good,
she's damn good.

250
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,277
Well, listen,
I could talk about this all day,

251
00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:05,446
but there's a hunk of lasagne
with my name on it.

252
00:14:05,613 --> 00:14:07,406
I'm sorry you can't come.

253
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:10,743
- Wait.
- Yeah?

254
00:14:11,661 --> 00:14:13,246
What's the special today?

255
00:14:13,454 --> 00:14:14,747
I think it's baked ziti.

256
00:14:22,713 --> 00:14:24,215
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

257
00:14:24,423 --> 00:14:28,010
Hell, no, man.
I got three days of catching up to do.

258
00:14:28,219 --> 00:14:32,723
Excuse me. Yeah, whatever
Monday's special was, bring it.

259
00:14:42,942 --> 00:14:46,863
Dad, I'm home.
Got back early today.

260
00:14:47,405 --> 00:14:49,240
Dad?

261
00:14:50,867 --> 00:14:54,412
Dad, you better not be
in our bedroom again.

262
00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:59,709
Look, when I ask for a tote bag,
I expect a tote bag.

263
00:14:59,876 --> 00:15:04,630
No, I won't hold, you hold.
I'm on hold again. Unbelievable.

264
00:15:05,131 --> 00:15:06,674
What you got going there, Dad?

265
00:15:06,883 --> 00:15:09,385
Say hello to another unlucky bastard
chewed up and spit out

266
00:15:09,552 --> 00:15:12,221
by the PBS machine.

267
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,059
Hello.

268
00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:20,438
Look at what those ganefs sent me
instead of that beautiful bag.

269
00:15:20,605 --> 00:15:23,274
Dad, this is their entire
Civil War series.

270
00:15:23,441 --> 00:15:25,234
- This is great.
- Oh, please.

271
00:15:25,401 --> 00:15:27,737
"Father against son,
brother against brother."

272
00:15:27,904 --> 00:15:30,198
Cry me a river.

273
00:15:31,824 --> 00:15:34,243
I'm just saying,
this is much more valuable

274
00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:37,121
- than that tote bag you wanted.
- Oh, really?

275
00:15:37,288 --> 00:15:38,956
Can I tote my oranges in this?

276
00:15:39,123 --> 00:15:42,460
Will my swim trunks fit in there?
No and no.

277
00:15:43,294 --> 00:15:47,423
Look, they probably ran out of tote
bags and sent you this instead.

278
00:15:47,632 --> 00:15:50,364
I didn't buy this,
I bought a tote bag.

279
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:52,370
You didn't buy anything.

280
00:15:52,512 --> 00:15:55,848
You made a donation to public
broadcasting. This is a gift.

281
00:15:56,015 --> 00:15:59,644
- It's not the gift I wanted.
- Hang up. You're acting crazy now.

282
00:15:59,811 --> 00:16:02,939
No, I am not crazy. I'm just not gonna
let these people step all over me.

283
00:16:03,105 --> 00:16:05,566
All right, fine. Have a good time.

284
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:07,527
Yes, I'm here.

285
00:16:07,693 --> 00:16:10,238
Oh, you still claim
there are no tote bags, huh?

286
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,990
Then let me speak to your manager.

287
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,627
Hey, Mrs. Green Shorts.

288
00:16:24,836 --> 00:16:26,838
You come back
to give us another chance?

289
00:16:27,046 --> 00:16:28,881
Actually, I just came by to apologise.

290
00:16:29,048 --> 00:16:31,133
My behaviour the other night
was inexcusable.

291
00:16:31,342 --> 00:16:33,678
No, it's fine. It's okay.
You wanted to change your order,

292
00:16:33,845 --> 00:16:36,097
- we change it. No problem.
- I never wanted to change...

293
00:16:36,264 --> 00:16:40,143
Not important. Main thing is,
I just wanted to come by

294
00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:43,980
and say I'm sorry to you...
Oh, and to him.

295
00:16:44,147 --> 00:16:46,691
Hi. Excuse me?
Remember me? No caper lady?

296
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:49,735
I just wanted to say that I'm very
sorry for the other night. I was...

297
00:16:49,902 --> 00:16:52,780
Okay, he's still angry,
that's understandable.

298
00:16:52,947 --> 00:16:53,990
That's understandable.

299
00:16:54,157 --> 00:16:59,078
Also, I don't see the busboy
that I threw an olive at.

300
00:16:59,245 --> 00:17:01,706
Would you tell him
that I'm sorry too?

301
00:17:01,914 --> 00:17:03,082
Forget about it. It's okay.

302
00:17:03,249 --> 00:17:06,252
- Everything is okay.
- Thank you so much. You know what?

303
00:17:06,419 --> 00:17:09,130
I'd love to surprise my husband
with a nice, big dinner,

304
00:17:09,297 --> 00:17:12,633
- so load me up with the works, huh?
- Really? Okay.

305
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:14,844
I'll tell you, I thought
he would never eat again

306
00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:16,804
after the lunch he had here today.

307
00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:26,272
Oh, God.

308
00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:30,735
- Hello, Douglas.
- Hey.

309
00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:32,820
I guess you probably heard
through the grapevine

310
00:17:32,987 --> 00:17:35,781
that PBS and I are butting heads.

311
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:39,285
Yeah, it's all over town.

312
00:17:39,494 --> 00:17:40,703
I got them good though.

313
00:17:40,870 --> 00:17:46,417
I just pledged $1 million
on behalf of a Mr. Jim Shorts.

314
00:17:47,585 --> 00:17:50,505
- Get it? You get it?
- Yeah, I get it.

315
00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:54,467
- What's the matter with you?
- I got a bit of an upset stomach.

316
00:17:54,634 --> 00:17:56,928
I ate lunch angry.

317
00:17:57,428 --> 00:18:00,932
- Anything I can do for you?
- No, no, no, I'm fine. Thanks.

318
00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:03,226
Hey, you know what helps
when I'm nauseous?

319
00:18:03,392 --> 00:18:06,562
A nice gentle tummy rub.

320
00:18:08,773 --> 00:18:10,608
Would you like one?

321
00:18:13,861 --> 00:18:15,530
No.

322
00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:18,533
I have very soft hands.

323
00:18:20,159 --> 00:18:21,577
No.

324
00:18:22,245 --> 00:18:25,540
Come on, I'm your father-in-law. It's
the most natural thing in the world.

325
00:18:25,748 --> 00:18:28,668
- No.
- All right.

326
00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:35,049
- To hell with you, I'm doing it.
- Will you stop it?

327
00:18:35,216 --> 00:18:38,052
- You're gonna like me later.
- Just stop it. I don't like you now.

328
00:18:38,219 --> 00:18:39,804
Fine.

329
00:18:39,971 --> 00:18:42,515
You gotta sleep sometime.

330
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:48,271
- Hey, honey.
- Hey.

331
00:18:48,437 --> 00:18:50,314
- How you doing?
- Good, good, good. Very good.

332
00:18:50,481 --> 00:18:52,859
Listen, I've been wanting
to talk to you all day.

333
00:18:53,025 --> 00:18:54,485
Well, you found me.

334
00:18:54,694 --> 00:18:56,988
What's up?

335
00:18:57,947 --> 00:19:01,075
Look, I just wanted to say
that I am so, so sorry

336
00:19:01,242 --> 00:19:04,078
for that whole stupid thing
the other night at Fiorino's.

337
00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:06,539
- You are?
- Yes.

338
00:19:06,706 --> 00:19:09,876
I mean, it just hit me today.
I completely overreacted, you know.

339
00:19:10,042 --> 00:19:13,588
"I said no capers.
Hey, don't you roll your eyes at me."

340
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:17,925
- Was I out of control, or what?
- Maybe a little, yeah.

341
00:19:18,134 --> 00:19:21,179
And then, I actually banned you
from going back there.

342
00:19:21,345 --> 00:19:22,680
Could you believe I did that?

343
00:19:22,889 --> 00:19:25,683
Your feelings are your feelings.
Nobody has the right to judge you.

344
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:29,312
Oh, honey, you are so sweet.

345
00:19:29,479 --> 00:19:31,606
Even though the ban was ridiculous,

346
00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:34,692
the most important thing to me
is that you respected it, you know.

347
00:19:34,859 --> 00:19:37,361
You supported me. Thank you.

348
00:19:37,528 --> 00:19:39,906
Hey, look, who's keeping track
of who respected what,

349
00:19:40,072 --> 00:19:41,991
or who supported who?
It's a whatever thing.

350
00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:43,326
Bottom line,

351
00:19:43,493 --> 00:19:47,705
- you, me, love, end of story.
- I know you had lunch there today.

352
00:19:47,872 --> 00:19:50,291
- Let me finish.
- I can't believe you did that.

353
00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:53,085
- You're such a jerk.
- You just said the ban was stupid.

354
00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:56,672
It was stupid, but it was still in
effect when you had lunch there today.

355
00:19:56,839 --> 00:19:59,091
Yes, but I knew
you were a good person

356
00:19:59,258 --> 00:20:02,345
who would eventually come
to her senses and lift the ban.

357
00:20:02,512 --> 00:20:05,389
I went there today
as a show of faith.

358
00:20:05,556 --> 00:20:07,433
Okay. How's this
for coming to my senses?

359
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,227
The ban is back on.

360
00:20:09,393 --> 00:20:10,328
How do you like that?

361
00:20:10,354 --> 00:20:12,063
You lifted it.
You can't put it back.

362
00:20:12,104 --> 00:20:14,190
- Oh, it's back. You're banned.
- No, I'm not.

363
00:20:14,398 --> 00:20:15,650
Oh, no? You wanna keep talking?

364
00:20:15,817 --> 00:20:17,944
Because now
you're banned from Bagel King.

365
00:20:18,152 --> 00:20:21,072
No way!
They've done nothing to you!

366
00:20:21,239 --> 00:20:24,534
Yeah, well, they don't serve
light cream cheese, that annoys me.

367
00:20:25,326 --> 00:20:27,745
Okay, fine, fine. You wanna ban me?
Then I'm gonna ban you.

368
00:20:27,954 --> 00:20:30,748
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Say goodbye to your nail place, baby.

369
00:20:30,915 --> 00:20:34,502
And you know why? Because
I don't like the bell on the door.

370
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:37,296
Oh, yeah?
Well, you just had your last egg roll

371
00:20:37,463 --> 00:20:39,090
from Chef Ming's, my friend.

372
00:20:39,298 --> 00:20:40,341
Oh, have I?

373
00:20:40,508 --> 00:20:43,594
Well, you had your last tasty treat
from Humphrey Yogarts. Yeah.

374
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,222
- Batting cages.
- Loehmanns.

375
00:20:46,389 --> 00:20:49,392
You wanna keep it coming? Come on.
What, you think you can hurt me?

376
00:20:58,192 --> 00:21:00,736
You're banned from there too.

377
00:21:00,903 --> 00:21:03,990
Okay, should have
thought this through.

378
00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:31,041
Don't fight me.
It's gonna happen.

379
00:21:33,666 --> 00:21:39,666
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